Deported

Hoi An is magical! But before even taking you here, I feel we’re missing a few important chapters worth recounting. So let me take you back and rewind to the day I leave Macao for Vietnam, on a fateful Tuesday (17 Jan). I am staying with my good friend Cynthia, her husband, Michael and their cute kids, Micah and Jazzy. After 9 days of quality time with the family, unlimited singing of “twinkle twinkle little star” (hand movements included) and NOT gambling in the massive Macanese casinos, it’s time for me to leave. Filled with excitement at the rose-colored adventures that lie ahead, I merrily take the 45 minutes ferry ride from Macao directly to the Hong Kong Airport to catch my flight to Saigon (HCMC). According to my trusted Lonely Planet, I can apply for my visa upon arrival so I’m not too worried…Can you sense what’s coming? I certainly couldn’t. Have I built the right level of suspense yet that usually preludes disaster? I’ll give you one more second to figure it out. You there yet? Yep, imagine my surprise when at the counter, they won’t let me check in without an official government visa approval letter. Unwilling yet to accept this new bleak reality and still naively gripping on to the hope for a positive outcome, I demand to speak with the supervisor in my most authoritative tone. An older Chinese gentleman appears.

Confident Me: “Sir, I booked my ticket to Saigon for today. I plan to leave today. How can you help me?”

Unstirred Supervisor: “I can help you get back on the ferry to Macao.”

Optimistic (slightly agitated. You can tell by the higher pitch in my voice) Me: “No, no. You don’t understand. I must leave today to Vietnam. I have my ticket and everything. What can we do?”

Unmoved Supervisor: “There’s nothing I can do. You must return to Macao.”

Delusional (whining) Me: “But why? I don’t want to go back. Just let me go and I’ll take my chances in Vietnam.”

Silence. Why is he looking at me that way?

At this point in my very own personal Game Show of “Who wants to go to Vietnam”, which clearly I’m not winning, I use my “Phone-a-Friend” Lifeline (since the audience, while entertained, really doesn’t care) and dial Cynthia who now also demands to speak with the Supervisor. She tries to convince him to check me in but even Cynthia, famous for her persuasion skills, fails to impress him and is as successful as the peace talks in the Middle East. It turns out I am now in No Man’s land, neither in Macao nor in Hong Kong so even though I’d have enough time to rush to the Vietnamese Embassy in Hong Kong, they won’t let me out. The only way is back.

One hour later, exhausted from the fruitless exchange with Impassive Supervisor, realization finally dawns on Defeated Me as I draw the following brilliant conclusion: “So you’re saying I can’t fly out today?”

And so my journey prematurely ends as I am shipped back to Macao. Deported no less! My passport is confiscated and I am escorted by a security agent back onto the ferry. When we arrive in Macao, another customs guy escorts me to a little room in the back of the Terminal. After a lot of paper filling and even more stamping (of paper, not feet), my passport is finally returned to me and I am released into the cold Macanese air. Luckily, while all this is going down, Cynthia is able to reschedule my flight to the next day at no extra cost (Thanks again Cyn!). And as much as I would love to blame the world, it really was my own stupid rookie mistake. So kids, allow me to impart my newly acquired knowledge with any one of you planning a trip to Vietnam. For 50$, you can apply online for a visa approval request and actually get it in less than 2 hours. And now, back to “twinkle twinkle little star” J